Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
