I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
