now i know why i became what i already was.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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