Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
