Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
