Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
