I got chris browned last night
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Two words: blizzard sex
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
