he wants to bone in the snuggie
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
