So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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