its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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