Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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