i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
