whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize