At least make sure they are 18
Why
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
