dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
