One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
