I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
