i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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