the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
