i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize
