super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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