do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
