So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
she smelled like a LAN party
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
she pinky promised me she was 18
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
