I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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