flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
last night I used snow as a chaser
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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