The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
