I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
