ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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