no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
