Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
cat food counts as protein by the way
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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