i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
