Cold hands, warm shart.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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