You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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