I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
