your thong is hanging out like whoa
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
