Porn is love you can see.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
my poor anus
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
