I think I am morally bankrupt
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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