weddingsv make me drug and hornr
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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