If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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