he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
