This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
dude. I can hear the air.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
