just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
