just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
