Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
