if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
