the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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