i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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