turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I see more hoeing in ur future
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