Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
did i just pee glitter
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
