I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Randomize
