Grow some girl-balls and come out already
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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