Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
