I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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