he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
