Who wears a wallet chain?!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
